World of Spokes

too competitive for my own good.

I think that everyone who first returns to cycling as an adult, ( I know, some masters of the craft never stopped riding since they were kids, but for the rest of us) speed is everything. I used to haul ass everywhere I went, or at least attempted to. There was no pacing myself or simply taking in the sights, it was all about how quickly I could get to where I was going. One of the first breakthroughs I remember making was learning that if I paced myself better I would make it there quicker, than if I rode as hard as I could for as long as I could and then crawled the rest of the way. This was an important lesson, but still did not change the fact that I wanted to get on and off my bike as quickly as possible. So, after years of riding I thought that I may have cured myself of this silly habit. I do enjoy going slower now, but have realized that if I encounter other cyclists my instincts tell me to speed up, pass them, or don't get passed.

In atlanta I didn't come across this problem to often because there wasn't that many cyclists. It's a much different story here in portland. In the summer months when the amount of riders are at their peak, I've found myself avoiding the most traveled routes because I get so competitive it drives me crazy. Especially if someone gives me even the smallest excuse to hate them. If they don't say "on your left" or pass me on the right or just act or look like a douche, I get inflamed and chase after them. This behavior is juvenile and I'm ashamed to admit it.

I have however, come to the understanding that I am not the fastest thing out there. Many times I've been cruising along when someone passes me, and even if I do give chase, it becomes obvious very quickly I'll never catch them. At first this made me incredibly mad, but I realize now that its a good thing to know that there is always some body faster than you. In a way it humbles you and frees you to enjoy your ride at your own pace. In cycling as in life, once you stop competing with others, you have a much more fulfilling trip. I try and remind myself this everyday.